COUGAR WOMEN--WHY NOW?

Older women dating younger men may seem like a fantasy, but it’s reality and it’s happening in real life and in the virtual world, and on prime time. The term coined for these women is cougars.

Shows like Lipstick Jungle and Desperate Housewives have written older woman/younger man relationships into their story lines. Nor should we overlook reality shows such as Kept and Ivana Young Man, in which successful women specifically search for a young buck they can call their own.

Is this a growing niche in society that’s being reflected on TV?

Why do these shows focus on this dynamic? Women are reaching high levels of success that allow them to choose this once taboo option.

How are these women portrayed on TV and in film? They’re usually Caucasian, extremely successful in their careers and come from middle and upper classes. They’re youthful-looking and take care of their appearance, so despite their age they fit modern standards of female beauty. Not to mention the fact that their funds allow them to keep up with the latest cosmetic advancements from Botox to implants to even a nip and tuck.

These women no longer need older men to accomplish these goals as past generations did.

These are women who have some or gained some kind of success, so when they are looking for relationships with younger men they are not necessarily looking for someone who can provide an economic ladder for them. They are more looking for someone who can provide good sex and be able to communicate with them.

Companionship and fun are also seen as part of the reason why on Lipstick Jungle, Kim Raver’s character Nico – a married woman – found a new life with a younger man. Her husband stopped paying attention to her, so she was tempted to look elsewhere. When the husband died, Nico allowed herself the freedom to really fall in love with her young man.Even the 2005 movie Prime, in which Uma Thurman’s character gets involved with her therapist’s son, reinforces the theory that an older woman chooses to be with a younger man for these more emotional reasons.

It is HOT AND TRENDY. Isn’t the purpose of every relationship to find someone who can be both a companion and a lover? Still,it does defy the traditional roles of dominance between the sexes.

The role reversal pays a price in stereotypes. Terms like “cougars” cast these women in an unfavourable light, labeling them as some type of predator hunting younger men. And shows like Lipstick and Housewives no doubt perpetuate the image of these highly sexualized older women who have bodies that look like young women’s bodies.
I do think the older woman /younger man trend getting more exposure because of the increase in older women who can choose to have these relationships, especially those in the public eye.

As for the “cougar” stereotypes and whether they will ever go away … I’m not so sure if they will, just because they only account for a small slice in the pie of society. Plus all the tongue-in-cheek innuendos that go along with them are still taboo. And taboo means forbidden—always an exciting lure for the young at heart.

In the end, it’s good to shake things up once in a while, and if bringing the older woman/younger man relationship into the light helps break down negative stereotypes, then so be it.

Who says a powerful woman can’t find love and companionship with a younger man? Successful men have married much younger women for generations, so it can’t be all bad.

LIPSTICK JUNGLE

Cougar Women aren't the only ones who attract younger men. Most men are drawn to women who are confident, friendly, youthful and approachable, notwithstanding age. Do you have to look a lot younger than your age? Not necessarily, but the kind of woman who attracts a younger man is usually energetic and sexy, not only in her appearance but in the way she carries herself and interacts with men. If you want to see a perfect example of the stunning older woman/younger man relationship, watch "Lipstick Jungle" at 10 pm on Wednesday night on NBC.

SMILE -- UNTIL ELECTION DAY

COUGAR TECHNIQUES--Be Man's Ultimate Challenge

Time for a change of pace. We all need a rest from this endless campaign. It's time for some light-hearted fun, some more good info and advice to the woman who wants to attract a younger man.

We all know that black widow spiders are deadly, poisonous and they sometimes eat the male spider after mating. There is a human equivalent: a Couger. Many tabloid celebrities have led the way, teasing and taking men at their will, some even taking them away from other women. I don't suggest this, but any woman can learn a lot from the way these women attract and conquer. They are the equivalent of naughty men, irresistible to the opposite sex. These women are talented and can lead men around like puppy dogs. They can weave a web so intricate that by the time a guy spots the trap, he's caught in the tangle. This woman is the ultimate challenge--a man's fantasy.

Big question: How do they do it?

1. She is unabashedly sexual. No explanation needed. You know what I'm saying.

2. She talks with her eyes as much as she does with her body. She smiles in a coy fashion. Her eye contact is forceful and deliberate. She's almost saying, "Look at me. I'm going to capture you and you're going to love it."

3. She knows men and can manipulate them because she understands the male brain, the big one and the little one. She prefers male friends and usually has the kind of interests that appeal to men. She draws men around her, her pool of possible suitors.

4. She has no trouble moving on when the mood strikes, leaving the guy in the dust. She is quick to see the end game and will cut her losses to move to the next one.

5. She knows how to dress provocatively without looking cheap. Her aim is to please men, not women. She chooses colors and textures that appeal to men--silk, dark colors, also red and magenta. She wears sexy jewelry, maybe a necklace that leads the eye to cleavage, or dangling earrings that sparkle and draw attention to her face.

6. She is unaffected by the glare of another woman. This is the world of the supreme seductress. She knows who she is and she makes no apologies. But if you want to learn, befriend this black widow. She can be a great friend, but seldom gets much of chance because women have trouble dealing with the attention she gets. Watch her, steal her secrets and emulate her. She has the formula.

7. She is always uptown classy in appearance and behavior. No cheap knock offs for this princess. She's the real deal, and she's high maintenance, though she'd have you believe otherwise.

8. Lastly, she knows it takes two to get one. For her pine is for furniture. She won't ever beg you, doesn't need to, because there's always one in the wings. She doesn't sit at home waiting for your call. So if you want her, you need to move quickly.

TRY THIS APPROACH AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES YOU.