Friday, February 3, 2012



CALLISTA: You were so sure Trump was going to endorse you. What happened?
NEWT: Trump is a jerk.
CALLISTA: But I thought you said it was a good thing.
NEWT: Did I say that?
CALLISTA: Yes, sometimes I don't know what you think because you say one thing one time and then it's the opposite. Isn't that flip flopping? And you said it was in the bag once you agreed to do his debate and Romney refused.
NEWT: Well, I was wrong. Don"t worry. I'll turn the endorsement into a negative.
CALLISTA: Yeah. Way to go. You're good at that. Oh Newtie, you are so smart.
NEWT: I'm hungry. Did you order from room service yet?
CALLISTA: No because it's too late to be eating. You don't need to eat now.
NEWT: Get on the damn phone and order me a hamburger.
CALLISTA: But you're gaining too much weight.
NEWT: Give me the damn phone. And stop fussing with your hair. It's driving me nuts.


MITT: Wow, I sure didn't expect Trump to endorse me.
ANN: Why not? Trump is a smart guy. He knows a winner when he sees one.
MITT: Yeah, I guess he is, sort of, but you have to wonder what he wants.
ANN: Well, he didn't ask for anything, did he?
MITT: No, but every body wants something. Maybe he just wants a revived economy, which is good for all his businesses. Of course, there's his China thing.
ANN: But you have the same views on China as he has, so it's a win win.
MITT: We'll see if that's all of it.
ANN: You're too cynical. That's not like you.
MITT: Honey, we're swimming in shark infested waters and it's only going to get worse once I'm the nominee.
ANN: You mean when you're up against Obama?
MITT: And all his thugs. I'm glad we have security now. I want you safe.
ANN: I'll be all right as long as I'm with you. I love you.
MITT: Always, and I you. Come closer.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


SCENE from the bedrooms of Ann and MItt and Newt and Callista immediately after Florida Win for Mitt.

Romney and Ann after the big Florida win:

Ann: Can you believe Newt hasn't called to congratulate you tonight?
Mitt: He didn't call to congratulate me when I won New Hampshire.
Ann: But you congratulated him when he won South Carolina. I'm glad you did.
You would never be as rude as he is.

Newt and Callista after the big Fla. loss
Callista: Aren't you going to call Mitt to congratulate him?
Newt: Mind your own business.
Callista: it will make you look bad.
Newt: I'm not calling that SOB. Just fix your hair.
Callista: When are you giving your speech?
Newt: I'm waiting so that I get to use prime time.

Mitt and Ann
Mitt: Well, I guess Gingrich is not going to call or give his speech.
Ann: What are you going to do?
Mitt: I'm giving the first speech so that I will have the prime time spot.
Ann: Oh good darling. I'm so glad you've finally realized what a slug Newt is. I can't see him as president,
Mitt: Good, because he won't be president. If he were the nominee, Obama would win.
That's why I have to be the nominee.
Ann: You will be. I and all the women love you. But I'm the lucky one who has you, darling.

They kiss and Mitt proceeds to the podium to give a rousing welcome to his supporters and speaks.


ANN and MITT in their Nevada hotel room

ANN: Mitt, you really have to be careful what you say. You know those Obama media people will jump at anything. And Newt is out to destroy you, even though he knows he can't win. What a nasty man he is.
MITT: Honey, it's just politics. But, I was supposed to be relaxed, not look wooden. Everyone knows what I meant. The poor do have a safety net. The working poor are the ones in big trouble. I have to help them.
ANN: I know that, honey, but really you have to weigh your words. You look tired. Let's go to bed.
MITT: Let's cuddle first.
ANN: Mmmmm.

NEWT and CALLISTA in their hotel room

CALLISTA: That was great, the way you gave a winner's speech in Florida. And that dumb guy Romney, saying that about the poor. We couldn't ask for more. But you know it was out of context.
NEWT: Who cares. The Obama media will do the job for us. They hate rich guys. Those media jerks live from hand to mouth. You can count on them to kill the rich guy if he's a Republican.
CALLISTA: Newtie, you're so smart. I love listening to you.
NEWT: Good, now hush up and go to sleep.
CALLISTA: Darling, I'm wearing that red nighty you love.
NEWT: Yes, it's beautiful. Now go to sleep.
CALLISTA: Who do you think Trump will endorse?
NEWT: Me. I agreed to do that dumb debate for him. He's an egomaniac and Romney screwed up on that one.
CALLISTA: Newtie, you are brilliant. Here's a kiss for being brilliant.
NEWT: Callista, I'm tired. Now just shut up and go to sleep.
CALLISTA: When am I allowed to talk. I stand on those podiums with you and I'm never allowed to say a word, while your daughters get to do all the talking. Why?
NEWT: Snoring away.
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