SEEKING APPROVAL TO DATE A YOUNGER MAN

QUESTION: I’m 48, divorced, and I’d like to go out with a younger man but some of my friends think it’s unseemly. They’ve said men who go out with older women are only interested in sex. I want a companion, someone to do things with-- travel, have dinner, see a movie. I’m attracted to younger men, but I don’t want to be called a cougar. I don’t want to feel sleazy. How do I overcome that impression and find what I’m looking for?

ANSWER: Here goes. Men are motivated toward women based on sexual attraction. It’s a given. Face it, and live with it. It’s what makes the world go round. That doesn’t mean you have to feel sleazy to get yourself gussied up to meet a younger man. If you’re bent on presenting yourself as a schoolmarm or librarian, go right ahead, but you won’t be drawing bees to the honey. That is not to say, you have to dress like a pole dancer, though I’m told high-priced call girls are very stylish and elegant. Don’t show too much cleavage, but a little. Don’t wear clothes that are skin tight, but clingy enough to show your curves in a dignified way. And stop worrying that men go out with older women for sex. Recognize an obvious fact—men go out with all women whatever their age with a desire to get her into bed. Because you’re older, consider it a complement that the younger man finds you just as appealing as he would a younger woman. Know that it’s up to you to decide what you hope to get out of the relationship and if and when you want to hop into bed. Fortunately, those rules haven’t changed. As for not wanting to be considered a cougar—that’s easy—don’t go to a bar and broadcast your desire to have a meaningful relationship for one night. And when some younger man initiates contact, certainly don’t tell him that a hard man is good to find, or words to that effect. It’s also worth knowing that men use sex to get love; women use love to get sex. What both really want is intimacy. People today say they’ve been intimate meaning they had sex. Intimacy and sexuality are not synonymous. You can go out, meet some one and have wild sex with that person. That’s not intimacy. Insects do it. Goats do it. It’s sex, but it’s not intimacy. Your desire to do things together and enjoying each other over a period of time is really what promotes intimacy. These are the activities that you can talk about with anyone. Even if the man’s immediate objective is to have sex, he is really seeking intimacy, so don’t be put off by what men do to lure you into bed. Just delay it until you know that you want to have sex with him as an expression of caring because this man is a keeper.

JOHN EDWARDS RE-VISITED

Remember I said the National Enquirer article calling Edwards on his extramarital affair was probably true. Comments were made criticizing me for that opinion. So be it. To me, the tragedy of the situation is the damage, not to Edwards, but to a wife, a very lovely and devoted wife, mother of his children, who is now terminally ill with Cancer. Imagine the humiliation she must feel during her final days of life after being there for him through two rigorous campaigns, the last one during her radiation and chemo-therapy. And, yes, the embarrassment to his children. My goodness, couldn't he have restrained those primal urges.

Just wait--they'll be more coming out on Obama, when he is long past his (I hope unsuccessful) run for President and is no longer on the main stage.

A mother had just finished bathing her little three-year-old boy. He looked down between his legs.

"Mommy, are those my brains?"

"Not yet, dear. They will be one day."

The message of this post: Hillary should have been the nominee. She would have won, and we would not have a worry about where her brains are located.